I still remember the first time I heard the term “selfcare.” My first thought was, “That sounds selfish.” My mind immediately digressed, imagining the Kardashian sisters spending the weekend at one of those spas that charges thousands of dollars an hour. I envisioned them laying in a row on their comfy hydromassage beds laughing and contemplating how to spend their next million. My feelings were that any selfcare translated into coddling oneself, which in turn was an unnecessary act of indulgence and extravagance.
Wow, was I wrong. In fact, the opposite is true. Taking care of ourselves by way of self-care allows us to take care of others. On a personal note, self-care continues to be something I struggle to fulfill in my own life, although I know it is like breath to the human body. We need selfcare to live a productive and blessed life!
Let’s define self-care. Selfcare is being purposeful and mindful to take care of you! Self-care is basically self-love, and if you don’t take care of you, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else. This is especially difficult for caregivers
(those taking care of kids, elderly parents, neighbors, etc.) We need to take the time to refresh the body, mind and soul, and only we can do that for ourselves.
One of my recent clients had major issues with this concept of self-care, let alone taking action in this area. She had three children, two still at home and one in college. Her father had just suffered a stroke, and she was dealing with relocating him to a memory care facility. She was also worried about her mother, who was devastated. On top of all this, she was working a full-time job.
She came to me because she felt overwhelmed and was
getting physically sick due to the insurmountable pressures in her life. As her coach, we could definitely work through many of these areas, but my first question was, “What are you doing for yourself?” She said, “I don’t have time for that.” I said, “You have to make time.” We discussed how she would not be able to continue helping others if she didn’t start taking care of herself.
My client’s issues really hit home with me, as I am also dealing with taking care of a lot of moving parts. I am living with my dad, who just turned 90, and I’m also spending nearly every day with my mother, who is in hospice care. Not to mention my son at college and my multiple jobs. I have to force myself to perform acts of self-care, but when I do, I know it’s not just keeping me healthy, it’s keeping me going!
Looking back, self-care has also saved me in some of the most trying times of my life. In my early days living in St. Paul, I was raising my son alone, working a pressurefilled job and hanging on by a thread. Every time my mom came to visit, I would plan a night away. When she would arrive on Friday, I would kiss my son goodbye and head out for 24 hours. I would either spend the first part of the evening with friends, or I would just head directly to the hotel. At the hotel, I would order out, sit in the hot tub or lose myself in a movie. Usually, the hotel was within a half-hour of my home, but it felt like I was away and returned the next day rejuvenated.
Self-care can consist of different things. Here are some tips to self-care:
1. Get extra sleep.
2. Eat right. Take care of the
gut.
3. Exercise.
4. Say no to too many obligations. 5. Get outside. Take a deep
breath.
6. Take a trip.
7. Spend time alone.
8. Schedule your self-care
outings (massage, hair and
nail appointments, hiring a life
coach).
Perhaps you know someone who is going through a difficult time and not taking care of themselves, or perhaps this is you. Either way, life happens, and we need to figure out how to deal with it by keeping ourselves healthy and happy and nourishing the body, mind, and soul through self-care. I believe if you buy into this concept of self-care and act on it, you will be on the way to a better you.
Melissa Versich lives in Hibbing, MN. If you are interested in working with Melissa, a personal and professional life coach, for one-on-one coaching, group coaching or workshop events both online and in-person, contact her via Facebook at www.facebook.com/COACHVERSICH/ or CoachVersich@outlook.com.