UW-Exension: Home Alone program: Preparing children for self-care – Kenosha News

Self-care can be a rewarding experience for children who are ready for it. It can help them develop independence, responsibility, and self-confidence. But, if a child is not ready, self-care can be frightening and dangerous.

For parents, there are three important questions that can help you decide when a child is ready: Do you think your child is ready? How safe is your home and neighborhood? Does your child think they are ready?

There is no magic age at which children develop the maturity and good sense needed to stay alone. But, there are some signs that show a child may be ready. Some of these signs include:

• Your child indicates desire and willingness to stay alone.
• Your child accepts responsibility and makes decisions. For example, your child will follow your written directions for chores that need to be done while you are away.
• Your child shows awareness of what others need.

For many children, these abilities can appear between 9 and 12 years of age. Other children need more time.

The University of Wisconsin-Madison, Division of Extension’s “Home Alone” program is available online and at no cost, in both English and Spanish, to help parents explore if their child is ready to stay home alone. If your child is ready, materials including videos, scenarios, and role-plays are available to help develop your family’s “Home Alone Plan.”

Some of the important components and strategies that make up this plan are:

• Developing and following family rules: Children need to know what they can and cannot do. The parents need to know that their children are safe and are successfully managing their time. If you define the rules and the specific behaviors you expect, children in self-care follow rules better. They know exactly what to do and when.
• Structuring time and dealing with boredom: When children are learning to stay home alone, it is important to have a plan in place for when boredom strikes. A plan increases confidence levels in children, so they feel in control of their situation and it reduces stress for both children and parents.
• Handling emergencies, including medical emergencies: When children are home alone, they need to be able to understand what constitutes an emergency. Parents can help children learn about emergencies and good responses to them by having “What would you do if…?” talks. These talks will help children know how the parent wants them to respond.
• Getting along with others: Conflict with siblings and friends is a normal part of development. During the middle years, most children tend to see things in “black and white,” thinking themselves as right and the other person wrong. Parents can help children be more successful in this regard by identifying situations where their children have had disagreements, and then, with their child, thinking of as many solutions as they can. Write down the solutions and discuss each one. Then, discuss which solution would most likely end the disagreement.

To participate in Extension’s “Home Alone” program, go to https://fyi.extension.wisc.edu/homealone or https://fyi.extension.wisc.edu/homealone-espanol.

Jen Reese is interim 4-H Program educator for University of Wisconsin-Madison Extension in Kenosha County.